From Kashmir: For All Regs:

[Group_Troll]

I am making this little announcement in order to eliminate any
"speculation" that may arise in the coming days and weeks. I am going
to be absent from this group, and indeed, from all of usenet, for some
time to come. I simply wish, at this moment, to forestall any
specualtion as to my motives for dropping out of sight.
There have been some events recently that have given me cause to stop
and think, and to re-examine my own long-held beliefs and feelings.
For me to explain with too much detail would compromise me, in terms
of giving too much information about who I am behind this nic, and my
physical location. Information that I would choose, at this point,
not to share with too many people, mostly because among the "antis"
there are some very radical assholes.
I have decided that I need to put myself into psychotherapy, so that I
may examine the feelings and the desires that I have regarding young
girls. Those of you who keep up with current events will understand
this: Recently, very close to me, a tragedy involving a young girl
took place. I did not know her, but she was a member of my community.
And I have been devastated by what has happened to her. Enough
said...
There are two people here whom I need to specifically address. Psyko
and friendly face, I wish to thank you for your civil and always
respectful attitude towards me. Please know this: It is a
combination of recent local events coupled with the things that you
have written here that have brought me to this cathartic moment in my
life. I have come to believe that I have worn blinders for far too
long a period of time; it is to your credit that you have been a part
of the chain of events that have forced me to stop and examine myself
and my thoughts, my feelings, and my fantasies. The rabid idiots who
frequent this and other groups could never have done what you have
accomplished. I have been forced to examine the blindness with which
I have often viewed myself and others who are attracted to young
girls/boys.
I will be making a return here eventually. For the moment, however, I
would prefer to be outside the influence of those who might try to
keep me locked into the position that I have always clung to so
desperately.
I can no longer condone my own feelings regarding young girls. While
I know that *I*, at least, am not a threat to anyone, I can see that
there are many who *are* a threat, in the worst sort of way. I need
to seek help with this, and that is precisely what I intend to do.
These groups are not sufficient help, I need to find professional
help, so that I can learn to first understand this, and then come to
terms with it, and then deal with it.
Thank you, Psyko and friendly face. I will be back, and I will let
you know how things have progressed. If you wish to stay in touch,
which I would greatly appreciate, please let me know. I will create
an email account for that purpose, and let you know what that email
is, if that would be agreeable to you both.
For now, goodbye to all.

[Group_Troll]

On Fri, 04 Jul 2008 09:02:12 -0400, "\"Reb\" Ruster"

I just went back and read your message, and caught things that I
missed at first reading. I would avoid seeing that head shrinker, as
he (or she) will probably try to convince you that your lifestyle is
caused by mental or emotional trauma caused by something buried deep
in your childhood, and advise how to combat it.

No one will convince me that my sexual thoughts, feelings, and
fantasies are the result of childhood "trauma." I am fortuante in
that such a thing did not occur in my case. All of my childhood
sexual encounters were age-appropriate, with other children. That
argument would never work with me.

This advice could be more detremental than helpful as it forces you to
accept the popular 'norm' for Human sexual behavior, which may
conflict drastcally with the established emotional structure. Also, I
would not trust any professional's Patient Non-Disclosier Agreement as
any federal agency could subpoena their patent records and place you
in a great deal of trouble if you choose to bare your soul about your
on-line habits. I dont claim to be an expert on Human sexual
deviations, but do know for a fact that no one is 'Standard', nor
conforms to any of the so-called Moral mandates concerning sexual
content, so my advice is to accept who you are and don't listen to
anyone that tries to tell you different. You are your best friend,
listen to your heart and soul and do whatever makes you happy.

I disagree. *Everyone* conforms to *some* standard, whether it is a
generally accepted standard or not.
I *am* listening to my heart and to my soul, and they are both telling
me that I have an urgent need to examine this part of myself, and come
to terms with it. I am in no danger of believing that I am an evil
person - in this context, I have never harmed a child, and would never
do so. Still, when all is said and done, I have a need - a deep and
personal need - to try to understand this aspect of myself, and to
come to terms with it.
That is all that this is about. Three people have generously offered
their support to me, outside of usenet, and I am availing myself of
that support.
What I *need* is for people to understand that this is something of a
cathartic time in my life. I need them to understand that my views
may shift in some areas. A little girl near me has died at the hands
of another, and this has given me pause. It is unfortunate that it
has taken such an event to bring me to this point of self-examination,
but on the other hand, if her death brings about positive change in
even one person who has labeled herself as a "child-lover" in, however
vaguely, sexual terms, then perhaps she did not die in vain.
I repeat: I *am* listening to my heart and to my soul. And they are
telling me that I need to take a good, long, hard look at myself.